What Now?

Actually, the appointment went very well. The consultant was very attentive, more so than ever before, and very nice. He could see that I was in a great deal of pain; he knew that normally I put a brave face on things but that today I was different.

We agreed that the latest drugs experiment was not a success. And so I have to gently wean myself off this one, just as gently as I weaned myself on to it, and I will then be back at the "curled up in ball screaming" stage. "So what then?" I asked, not unreasonably I thought. The word 'evasive' springs to mind. "Let's detox for a bit". Eh? I'll still be taking 13 other drugs for goodness sake! I could increase the dosage of one of my existing drugs ( to a level which is, interestingly enough, off licence!!) or maybe "eventually" (WHAT?!!) add a new drug into the mix which will specifically target muscle cramps and spasms. Really? And this new wonder drug is usually only given to people suffering from MS......

No. Not that wonder drug. Obviously. Believe it or not, there already is something on the market that can help with the wretched spasms and cramps. Why haven't I been offered it before? Good question. I had to demonstrate that I knew what a spasm was (per-LEASE!) and once I had crossed that hurdle I was deemed worthy.

Sativex. Well, I asked. I shared the info I'd gleaned. I even asked about the possibility of a private prescription, the cheeky mare that I was! (I knew he did a spot of BUPA on the side). He explained that the local PCT wouldn't fund it. Not for any condition. He managed to squeeze one month's worth out of them and that was it, and unless he could guarantee a steady supply he wouldn't prescribe it. Fair enough. He wasn't even able to prescribe it privately either. But he said something very interesting to me as I left.

" I don't want you to give up hope on this."

Don't you worry, I won't, I thought. Not while there's breath in my body, I won't.
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Later on, my GP was also rather perplexed by the blood pressure pills situation. He's come up with an alternative but it's not a straightforward swap because there isn't one, so we've got to see how I get on with it. As for the above, he said "Well he must have given you some idea of what he wants you to take instead, he can't just leave you like that!!" I explained the rather vague nature of how it was left so he said "Right, I'll give you a shout when I get the formal letter from the hospital and then we'll meet up and devise a treatment strategy from there, OK?" Then he smiled very reassuringly and added "Don't worry, I'm sure we can sort something out."

Right at this moment I'm not so sure myself, but I was very grateful for that.